Stress Levels Are HIGH In Our House

Oh My Gosh- can Friday please come like RIGHT NOW!  My hubby has been gone over 2 weeks but will be returning this Friday.  The kids are done- they are having meltdowns right and left.  I'm trying to keep it together for them but I notice that I'm turning to unhealthy foods and a lot of it!  Eating junk food is my stress reliever- not good Pam!!!

Yesterday, lil mama (9 yrs old) wouldn't even get out of bed to go to school.  She laid in my bed until noon- she cried on and off all morning.  She loves going to school so I knew she wasn't faking it to just stay at home- she was sad.  After she talked to her Grandparents and her Daddy she got in a better mood- thank goodness or else we all would have been in trouble.

Today, lil man (11 yrs old) picked fights with his sister and me- not cool dude! He was so disrespectful in his words and actions, I had to call his daddy to get him to calm down.  He felt so bad for his meltdown but we are all dealing with this last week so emotionally so we hugged it out but he also knows that this won't be tolerated.

We are all dealing with the stress of Dad being gone in our own ways but we all know we are also here for each other.

Our family unit is tight, we spend a lot of time together and we enjoy each other.  So having Dad gone for 3 weeks has put us in a whirlwind and we don't know quite how to handle these emotions.  However, we all need to look at the BIG PICTURE- Dad being gone is not to hurt us but to make our situation better. With this new position and raise we no longer will need to worry if our rent will be paid on time.  We are not going to be rich but we can breathe.

I'm also taking strides to make our family unit stronger and thriving by starting my own Virtual Assistant website.  I've been doing a lot of training and I know what direction I need to go to make this happen.  We are super excited about our future- let's just hope we can get through these next couple days, HEHEHE!

My Little Girl Turns "9" This Week

Oh my where as the time went!  Sahara turns 9 in less then a week and I can't believe it.  She has been my shinning light ever since she was born.  She keeps me going every day that's for sure.

The day she was born was very emotional for all of us.  It was a planned C-section so we knew when she was coming but we didn't know she would be born with two extreme clubfeet.  The first day of her life she was put in casts- from top of legs to her toes.  This was very emotional and we had no idea what to expect. The Dr told us she might not walk because of how extreme her feet were turned in.  So the next 2-3 years were a lot of casting, couple surgeries, a lot of Dr Appt's, braces, and a lot of tears.  We do physical therapy now. Today she still has a bit of a pigeon toe run and can't put down one of her feet all the way but she is not letting anything stop her.  So proud of her and her determination.

She loves to DANCE~

I'm so proud of my almost 9 year old she ROCKS and I'm looking forward to what she is going to do in the years to come.

Why Can't My Family LIKE to Clean- I'd be HAPPY!

I'm happier when my house is in order.  I get a little out of whack when my house is messy.  Now don't get me wrong my house is NOT PERFECT at all- it's lived in.  I do have cobwebs in corners I can't get to and I look at them everyday thinking I need to get them down.  There is clutter in every room but there is an clean version of this house I like to have.  My family well they rather live with junk surrounding them because that means they don't have to clean anything.  Cleaning is not a priority with them- they have far better things to do.  I guess cleaning shouldn't be a priority for them anyways but still help a mama out! I don't sound bitter do I?  LOL!

Getting the kids to do chores is a JOKE!  I have done written ones, iPad chore chart, reward system, and basically threats but they still ohh and aww then do them half assed.  I don't want to be that MOM that cleans their room and does everything for them- I DON'T WANT TO and it takes all of me not to!

Husband- oh my I'm just saying he shows an awesome example of WHAT NOT TO DO for the kids.  They see dad gets to keep his side of the bed messy and leaves his clothes everywhere for MOM to pick up- don't get me started on his man cave porch- eww gross but that is his space.

I know a clean house is just for me but as much as I do for these buggers you would think they would do something for me besides gives me kisses and hugs when I tell them to clean their rooms.  SMH!

This morning HomeMade Simple had a great PDF:  30 Day Organizing Schedule that I'm going to follow and see if I can get some things under control BY MYSELF!

My Son Has the Biggest Heart!

I had a proud mama moment last night because one of Ronnell's friends didn't get into a school they auditioned for and he was bummed for her.  He said " I just want to tell the judges off and how could they not pick her, it's just wrong".    Then he called his friend and asked her if is she was okay.  They talked for awhile and I could hear him reassuring her that it will be fine.  He is a great friend.

Yesterday, Ronnell told his daddy that I was going to be his Valentine so they will have to share me.  I feel loved.  Hopefully with 2 Valentines I might actually get a present LOL!  Just hidden...NOT!

He still loves to snuggle with me at night when everyone else goes to sleep.  He is almost as tall as I am so it's funny he is all curled up with his mom but damn I love it!

Ronnell also is a great big brother, even though they fight a lot.  This boy has her back, if anyone is messing with her he is on them!  Go Big Brother you ROCK.

Top 10 Reasons I Love My Crazy Kids!

1. Every morning I get a hug and a "GOOD MORNING MOM" from both of them.

2. Their smiles melt my heart and it's so hard to get mad at them- unless they are mouthing off then it's ON!

3. When I ask them to clean their rooms they jump right up and do it.  WAIT wrong house... no sorry that's not my kids.  I usually have to bribe them.  

4. When they get home from school they do their homework.  HAHA- with a lot of crying and "I don't know how to do this" whining.  

5.  They clean up after themselves...ummm not my kids either.  They are tornadoes.

6.  They let me go shopping all by myself so I can get in and get out without spending on useless junk. WRONG- they hide in the car when I say I'm going by myself.  

7. When we say we don't have money- they stop asking for crap.  Oh wait they don't do that either- they keep asking.  

8.  They do their chores everyday without whining.  OMG not at all- usually have to threaten to take something away.  

9.  They let us have our privacy in our own room.  Nope not happening!  They love to hang out until bedtime in our room.  They each have their own room plus a living room but mom/dads room is the hot spot.  

10 Every night I get hugs/kisses and I love you's.  My youngest even sings us a song in her best Barney voice:

I love you, you love me, we are a happy family with a great big hug and kiss from me to you.  I LOVE YOU!  

They are lucky they do #1 and #10 at least.  I LOVE THEM A LOT!   

A 3rd Grader Told Lil Mama She Was Annoying.

Little Mama came in after school and said "This girl says I'm annoying.  I've never heard that one before".  Really because I swear I've heard Lil Man tell her that on a daily basis but yes girls at school are different. I explained to her that not everyone is going to like her and it's OK!  She is at a new school this year and it's been rough for her but I do hope she opens up a bit more. Of course this hurt her feelings and pouted for about an hour. I went to a lot of schools growing up so I know how much she wants to be accepted and make friends.  She also told me the couple other girls told her that is is fine because they like her and not to worry about what the other girl said. It warmed my heart that she does have a support system there.  

I hope I dealt with that situation the way I needed to make her feel better about herself.  I grew up with low self esteem (let's be honest-still do a little) so I don't want her to doubt herself.  I want to raise a confident girl.  

How would you deal with this situation?  

Meet My Hubby~ Ron Allen

I met my hubby at a Luckys Grocery Store a week after I got to the Bay Area.  I sure wasn't looking for a relationship but there he was and it just seemed RIGHT!

We started talking a lot and he had me laughing everyday- something that hadn't happen in a long time. We started dating then moved in with each other and within 2 years got pregnant with our 1st child.  Now the first 2 years was rough for both of us- I didn't trust him and he wasn't used to having an official girlfriend who he lived with so we tested boundaries and even broke up for a bit but BAM baby on board brought us back together (we still lived together- so sleeping together was still happening).  At that point we made commitment to each other that we will make it work for the sake of our family.

We have had many ups and downs but came through each one holding hands and head high so we make a GREAT TEAM.  We got married 6 years ago (been together almost 14 yrs) and haven't looked back yet.  We plan to be together for the long haul.  Of course we have a our bad days but damn this man makes me laugh everyday and my heart loves that.

This past year has been rough on all of us.  I was sick and didn't really know it- just chalked it up to getting older and this is what happens.  My hubby was a trooper on days I was unable to get out of bed and on days that I just bite his head off for saying "Hi"!  With my health issues this past 5 weeks he has been my ROCK!  If I ever doubted his love I don't anymore.  He even told me one day we were talking that he made vows before God and he takes those vows serious!  I got me a keeper!!!

He is also an AIRBRUSH ARTIST~ Check out some of his work.

You can LIKE his FanPage on FaceBook~ https://www.facebook.com/mrairbrushhands

November Theme is FAMILY!

November brings a lot of us to think about what we are THANKFUL and WOW I'm very thankful for my 

FAMILY!  Every last one of them!!!

I wouldn't be the person who I am today without them.  My mom, my dad, grandma/grandpa, aunts/uncles, and cousins all shaped the person I am today.  My hubby and kids make me a better person.  I strive to be my best for all of them (including myself).  Oh boy, I could have turned down the wrong road more times than I did.  I'm not perfect and have made many BAD CHOICES in life but I learn from them and move forward.  

I'm going to work on letting go of some anger issues I have from childhood that I've been hanging on to for awhile now but hopefully I can work through them and forgive.  I'm also going to work on letting go of guilt feelings I have for my bad choices I've made in the past.  Beating myself up doesn't do anyone any good.  I want to be that mom that my kids and look up to and be proud of when they grow up.  

I have a beautiful family and we struggle everyday but we love each other very much.  I know my hubby has my back and I have his.  The kids they have both of our backs!  

The younger 2 kids are having a hard time at their new school for many reasons but they are so strong and take on the challenge  as it's all good!  They are also so different that is it crazy but they make me smile everyday.  Both of them are so protective over me right now- they are both so concerned for my health.  

My oldest son (22 yrs old) recently moved in with us for a bit until he could afford his own housing but he wasn't able to save up like we warned him about.  He had to take a train back up to WASH yesterday and it broke my heart having to say goodbye.  It was so nice having him here and wish it could have worked out but he needs to get priorities straight and then it will all be good. He is such a hard worker and will do good I just know it!  

My hubby goes to work at 3:30 am everyday then comes home to do more work- airbrushing.  Some weeks (like this one) not so much work but most weeks he is out there 4-5 more hours a day doing his thing.  We appreciate him very much.  He has a motto that he sticks to and lets us know all the time~ YOU DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO FIRST THEN YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO! 

So this month my blog posts will be a lot of about my family!  

Our Garden SUCKED This Year!

I'm the first to admit it...I'm not the garden kind of person.  I flip out when a bee comes round me plus jump when I see a spider so gardens have never been on my "must do" list!   However, our house we rent have a HUGE organic garden.  Last year's garden wasn't too bad.  We grew peas, beans, greens, carrots, tomatoes, corn, and peppers.  But this year about all we got was tomatoes and shit load of them too!  We have been giving away bags and bags of them for months now.  The beans died, the melons died and the wild flowers never came up!

The shining star of the garden this year was the SUNFLOWERS that my daughter planted!

My hubby promises he will make it happens next year!  I told him that the inside of the house is my domain and the outside is his domain.  I'm just not sure if he gets it yet!  I will go buy flowers to plant outside though- I love having fresh flowers in the kitchen.  

Any tips on how to become a gardener when you really don't have the gardener gene?  

My son is playing the TROMBONE!

OMG...he came home so excited about his new instrument! When I saw it I was OMG what did he get himself into!  He loves it and all day was outside blowing on it.  At first he sounded like he was farting but now he sounds much better.  I can't wait to see him in concert at his school.  This instrument is brand new so I hope he takes better care of it than he does his room.  This thing is HUGE though and puts a big bummer on our bike riding on WED/FRI because he can't carry that and bike ride at the same time.

So my head has been thinking of ways to get them to school, tomorrow we will take the bus but we can't do that every day because PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION is expensive!  It will cost me $10 to get them to school and myself back- shaking my head!  $10 in my car would get me to school and back all week I bet!  My hubby needs to get his truck fixed or sell it!  Ok rant over!

What instrument does you child play and do they like it?

Married and TV Shows- Who Rules the Remote?

Last night made me feel so much better about watching Big Brother (or any other reality show) when there isn't anything else on.  Most nights my hubby watches GUY SHOWS like Deadliest Catch, Cops, Caught on Camera shows, and all those manly shows.  Some nights I get to watch some of my shows like Big Brother but I mostly let him watch what he wants until he falls asleep and then the DVR is my best friend.  But last night he put on Cheech and Chong (really dude?) and I was stuck watching that so by 9:30pm I was alseep. So now I don't feel so bad when I put on Big Brother and he has to watch that!

How do you and your hubby deal with TV shows at night- who wins the remote?

Blessing in Disguise- Life Lessons!

Yesterday I wrote a BOOHOO whiny post and today I deleted it!  Wow, I was on a emotional roller coaster and I guess I needed to vent out my issues for all of the INTERNET to read. 

Today though NO whiny post but a THANKFUL post is needed! Found this quote and it made a lot of sense to me:

Stop looking at what you don't have and Start being thankful for what you do have.

OMG...how TRUE is this!  Last night between breakdowns I had so much fun with the kids.  Even daddy got involved- which barley ever happens. Without cable we actually had conversations with each other and found other ways to occupy our time.  After dinner (which we ate together) Lil Man and Dad had a dance off-  I wish I had video to show you because man that was heck of funny! 

I wasn't sad we didn't have cable I was sad because I felt I was letting my family down because I didn't have the money to pay our bills.  When I picked up the kids at school they could tell something was wrong and wanted to know if I was OK.  I was honest and told them I had a hard day and cried a lot, they both told me everything will be okay and we will get through this- I love my kids!!! 

My husband told me that yesterday morning on his way to work (3am) he had stopped at the gas station and was getting gas when a pregnant woman came up and asked for change to get something to drink.  He didn't have much but he still gave her all his change.  He told me even though we are going through some hard times there is worse off people out there and we should be grateful for what we do have.  So very true.  I've been there before- homeless and I guess that is what scares me the most- going backwards.  I want to give my kids everything but most of all I want to give them stability.  I want them to never have to worry about where their next meal might be or if they will have a roof over their head. 

As for the other things that are weighing down on my heart~ I can't feel guilty for other peoples actions.  They need to own that- not me! 

I think I needed to go through yesterday to make me appreciate TODAY!  As for NO CABLE- we will be just fine and as a family we decided to change some of our nightly routines and have more family time- also cut back on the cable! 

Tonight~ Wii night!!! 



Going on a Road Trip

Am I even ready- no this is how I deal with STRESS, wait until the last minute!  HEHE!  No laughing matter here people, okay yes it is.  Back in the old days I used to write lists, get upset if things didn't get done, stress on everything and anything but now a days I just ROLL WITH IT!  Who am I joking???

I might not be as "anal" as I used to be but how could I with kids and a husband.  We will leave something behind, won't finish something I wanted to do, forget something important at home of course but what can I do about it when I'm already on the road.  My family will probably say- you will throw a fit- curse a couple times and then whine a couple hours but then it will be okay. 

I tend to do things at the last minute because that's just who I am!  My hubby will say its the Sagittarius in me- okay I go with that but really if I did all this crap last week it would get all dirty again, I would have to pull it out and really its just easier to pack the day before going. 

I have 3 lists:  To Pack, What We Need, To Do Around Here- very professional huh! 

I won't let this Family Trip stress me out! 

What are some things you forget at home you wish you didn't, great road trip tips, or anything you want to add to this ROAD TRIP post?

Summer Time Plans- 1 more week of school

The kids will be in camp for June, with Grandma in Wash for July, and with me in August. Okay that's the plan, wow that wasn't so hard huh! 

June will be fun for them because they still get to hangout with their close school buds and doing fun stuff!  They are looking forward to that and so am I!  I will actually have a full day to do my work and other projects- NO SCHOOL STUFF!

July will be a busy month but very FUN!  We leave on July 8th to take a trip w/the kids to WA to see my family.  We are driving up there but not rushing we plan to stop and enjoy.  My hubby and I will stay up there for a week with the kids visiting family and then we will head back to Cali w/o the kids- woohoo!!!  My mom will take the kids for 2 weeks and then meet us in Oregon to go camping for a couple days.  Then we head back w/the kids July 30th. 

August well I hope to go on a couple day trips, if nice out swimming of course, and just chillin at the house.  We will all enjoy sleeping in and spending quality time with each other.  Looking forward to that. 

Weekends...Loving Them

Wow.....I've been really missing out on FAMILY TIME when I worked on weekends.  The past couple weekends that I've been home (since quitting the cafe job of 12 yrs) we have got a lot done around the house.  It makes me feel good to see projects that I've wanted to be completed get done!!  The kids are a big help too.  They love spending time (well thats what they say now) with us and so when I said "Hey Ronnell lets go weed the garden" I got pure excitement and "Let's Go" from my 9 yr old who would rather play video games over any housework....wonder how long this will last.  Well however long I'm going to enjoy it! 

Yesterday,  I cleaned out the fridge....pulled out everything and cleaned all fridge pieces.  It looks brand new but now it looks like we have no food.  The kids BOTH cleaned their rooms with no talking back.  Then we just kicked back and had fun.  Later on we made cupcakes.  I also cooked a bomb a** spaghetti dinner, I felt like Suzie Homemaker. I need a cool apron though.  I think I'm going to design one and have hubby airbrush it.  Simple things..I know, the thought just came to me so I needed to write that so I don't forget.  Mom's Day is coming up.

Today I'm cooking breakfast and Easter dinner.  So Martha Stewart step aside Pam Allen is in the house!  Keeping fingers crossed that I get help with dishes (not my thing LOL).  Hint hint to hubby! 

Also on our schedule today is Easter egg hunt outside, bowling with friends, and getting ready for SCHOOL!  Spring Break is DONE kiddos....time to get back on schedule and Mommy can get some work done. 

Spring Break 2011

We have a BUSY BUSY week ahead of us and I'm already tired. 

Monday it was raining so we stayed in the house but I cleaned so no relaxing there- oh right it's not my spring break. 

Tuesday was fun filled full day at Lawrence Hall of Science http://lawrencehallofscience.org/

This was a big cement whale they could climb on outside

Floating Globe that showed all kinds of cool weather stuff

The view from LHS.  Little foggy but still beautiful.

The kids had a blast there were so many thing for the kids to do.  After 3 hrs at LHS we went and got pizza then headed to a park to play for 2 hrs.  It was a LONG FUN DAY!

Today we are going to OAKLAND ZOO with some friends. 

Tomorrow is Sahara's 7th Bday and she is hasn't let us forget it either.  For 2 weeks its been a countdown.  And this week all we have heard is "This is my bday week so deal with it"  OH MY!

So tomorrow the plan is movie, pizza, books, ice cream and then party at my friends house (her hubby has the same bday) and then a sleepover.

Friday I'm hoping CHILL DAY!  But with these two kids not sure if that's going to happen buy hey its there Spring Break.  What about your kids Spring Break?



My Son Turns 21 Today!

First off...Happy Birthday to Nick for turning 21! 

Now on to me....man I feel OLD!  I remember the first time holding my baby, it was such a rush but so scared too!  I remember all the smiles and love. When he was placed in my arms my life changed forever- for the better that's the day I got the title MOM! 

What a beautiful gift I got 21 yrs ago!!  He is now a dad and a good one too!

Bad Mom Confession

Is it bad that I'm jumping up for joy (in my head) that my family is going away for the weekend?   Darn I work on Sat/Sun so I can't go...can you tell I'm sooooooo disappointed ??? 

They are going to visit my hubby's mom.  It's the oldest cousins bday so the kids are looking forward to seeing him.  They will be gone until Sunday night. 

I get to watch what I want on TV plus be on the laptop all at the same time w/o someone telling me "that's not fair", my house will stay clean for 2 days straight, I won't have to cook big dinners- I can have whatever I want (chili and chips- oh yeah!), and the quiet- no fighting!  I love all these things but a day or two is nice to enjoy every so often. 

What will I do????  I have friends who will want to go out but you know just being at home in a quiet clean house is all that this MOM will need!  Did I say how quiet it will be LOL!!!

I wish I had some time to go to the book store but I do have Kindle on PC/Laptop so I do have something to read I think :)

I will find things to do but cleaning, cooking, refereeing, negotiating, and all the rolling of my eyes won't happen for 2 1/2 days.  Countdown is happening in my head for sure but I won't let them know that.

Okay done with my bad mom confession.

The Allen's Thanksgiving Weekend

Wow what a holiday weekend.  My cousin from Arizona drove 12 hours to come to our house for Thanksgiving dinner...wow brave woman there.  They stayed a couple nights and took that long trek home on Saturday.  It was nice having someone else to cook for besides my family.  The kids had their cousin to play with and they even had some squabbles (Lil Mama)!  We ate good.  My hubby even fell asleep "Al Bundy Style" right after dinner so I'll take that has a big thumbs up! 

I know I'm getting old because each night my cousin was here I was in bed by 10pm- I was wiped out.  She must think we are soooooo boring!  I like boring though.

It rained a lot during the kids vacation but they did wonderful.  I'm very blessed to have such great kids.  Next month we have 2 weeks off so hopefully it won't be raining.

I was sick all weekend- in bed.  I did go to work yesterday but came right back home.  I watched a lot of TV between sleeping.  Since I was sick all weekend and made no money I can't even do any Cyber Monday shopping.  I did do a little shopping on Friday at OldNavy.com and it was quite funny, things kept disappearing out of my cart while I was shopping.  Oh well I guess they werte trying to save me some money..LOL!

Oh wait....before I get ready for Xmas I have 3 birthday to deal with.  Hubby's on Dec 6th, mine on Dec 13th, and my son's on Dec 15th.  Gear up mama pam- you are going to be BUSY!  My son wants to have a Lego Party- his bff just had one and I know I can't top that mom's cake so I will have to buy it somewhere I guess. 

Time to get my booty off the computer and CLEAN the house.  Hope everyone had a blessed holiday!

Thanksgiving Stress-Just NOT Having It!

Well it hasn't hit me yet....wondering why not.  Usually I'm all panicked that my house isn't clean enough or I'm not that good of a cook so what is people going to think of my food!  That's a lot of pressure to put on someone and I guess at 41 (yes almost 42) I'm getting to the point of I know I can't stress or I get sick!  Wow I'm so happy I'm finally beginning to see the light.

My house will look lived in- not messy nor extra extra clean.  Really with a 8 & 6 yr old kids what good is it to spic and span the house when in an hour something is going to get messed up anyways.  Lived in is just fine for me.  Now when my mom comes in Dec maybe I'll do a lil extra scrub here and there but I'm not busting my butt.  My hubby will be happy that's for sure.  I usually have a list of 10 things for him to do and maybe he gets 2 done- so that eases that stress of getting upset with him too. 

As for cooking...hell after all these years I think I got the basics down!  Simple menu and all the usual thanksgiving suspects (turkey, mashed potatoes, mac/cheese, greens beans, rolls.....).  I'm no Martha Stewart so why try to be!  Part of me wishes I was more into decorating but hey I keep that for Halloween, Christmas, and Easter. 

Simple this year people SIMPLE!  That means lil stress on me than I'm all for it! 

So THANKFUL!